That Bitch Irene, Yea... Shady Cunt.
Matty Slick-Haxx
So, there is a hurricane or something… yea. Well, I hope you are all prepared with extra food, booze, and maybe even a Grindr hookup to snuggle up with until the bitch named Irene passes! Stay informed, Stay safe! The awesome folks over at GrubHub.com are even ready to help us wound-up New Yorkers stranded without vegan tofu stir-fry. -Gag- But seriously, the email I got from these guys was great! Be safe you crazy kids! Here is what GrubHub.com had to say:
Irene? We've Always Hated That Name.
If you only remember one line of this email, make it this
one: stay safe and stay dry this weekend. Don't do anything we wouldn't do. You
know, things like pretending you're immortal, ignoring hurricanes, etc.
And here's the secondary stuff - a few things to keep in mind if you're stuck
inside, starving and you find yourself turning to GrubHub:
* Some restaurants will close. Our customer service will be
keeping the list of open restaurants as up to date as possible, so you should
be able to place an order and avoid snafus.
* Should there be a snafu, our customer service will help
you find a suitable meal. They'll be here 24/7 all weekend, staffed up and
ready to handle anything that comes their way.
* Some deliveries will take longer. Again, we'll try to
report accurate delivery times, but it's a natural disaster - they have a
reputation for being unpredictable.
* Our app will work when the power fails. But if the power
goes out, make sure you're safe before you sit around and order delivery.
* The only safe surfing during a hurricane is web surfing.
As such, we'll be pretty active on Twitter throughout. @grubhub will be handing
out sweet schwag, solving problems and, most importantly, keeping y'all
updated.
* If you're 100% safe and you're gathered with a bunch of
friends and a case of beer, you could consider using this joke: "Man,
tornadoes suck, but hurricanes really blow."
Again, customer service is ready to help any time. Don't hesitate to use it.
Chat in, tweet us @grubhub, call 877-585-7878, or email helpme@grubhub.com.
Be safe out there,
GrubHub
See, that is how it is done! Take care of yourselves and remember that 3-1-1 and 9-1-1! Be safe you fuckers! From all of us here at AntiTwink.com, BRING IT ON IRENE, BRING IT ON!!!
