Drag Race: Poetry for the Fallen Queens
In honor of tonight's episode of RuPaul's Drag Race—and our new commitment to actually keeping up with the show this season—we present to you "Drag Race 2 Poetry"...
Our friend Ricky, host of many a Drag Race viewing party that we keep missing, has been posting tribute poems to each queen to get booted off the show on Facebook. Let's take a look at the verses dedicated to the past three weeks' losers:
"WEEK 3:
Today we mess with Texas, with an acrostic for Mystique.
Meet the big girl giving face:
Yes, the "Precious" of Drag Race.
Sad the dress from T.J. Maxx,
Tucked into her Penney's slacks.
Implants? Not those awesome tits.
Queens, look out when she jump-splits!
Used: Get out of jail free card.
Exit honey, drags is hard!
WEEK 2:
This week, we honor an Atlanta legend with a name everyone loves to over-enunciate: Nicole Paige Brooks (in limericks).
THIN AND GORGEOUS
There once was a girl from Atlanta
Whose strict diet of meth and Mylanta
Made her so very thin
She was sure she would win
RuPaul's Drag Race 2 (sponsored by Fanta).
For her realness, the judges gave credit.
But her face was a book: Raven read it.
Lipstick, powder and tape
Could not help her escape
The reality show "loser edit."
And although we're so sad Nicole Paige is
Back at Blake's making minimum wages
May our hearts get a lift
From her fierce parting gift:
A used stripper pole from Platinum Stages.
WEEK 1: First up: Misss Shangela Laquifa Wadley (in iambic pentameter).
THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB
Oh Shangela, the sacrificial lamb
In Ru Paul's budget basement tranny scam.
What made you think that five months in the drags
Would be enough to beat those rode-hard hags?
I hate to see your saline bubble burst,
But we all knew you'd sashay away first.
You don't know how to sew or put on makeup,
And corn cobs on the runway? Honey, wake up!
Our little boojie homegirl got the boot.
Oh Shangela, your fifteen's up, c'est tout!"
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Mystique Summers Madison
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Nicole Paige Brooks
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Shangela Laquifa Wadley
