How to See SATC2
We're pretty much resigned to the fact that nothing, not even all the awful terrible dreadful ghastly no good very bad* reviews, will stop you from seeing Sex and the City 2 this weekend. Not even this one from The Stranger, deemed the best SATC2 review you'll ever read, in which Lindy West declares that the film's 146 minute running time is "an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls." Still, we do feel like there are ways to minimize the potential shame and ridicule you may face upon purchasing your ticket. So, if you absolutely cannot wait to have the DVD discreetly delivered to your home via Netflix, we present to you five acceptable and five completely unacceptable ways to see Sex and the City 2.
Acceptable for ladies: Seeing SATC2 with a gaggle of gays.
Unacceptable for ladies: Seeing SATC2 with a gaggle of girls.
Acceptable for gays: Seeing SATC2 with a gaggle of gays.
Unacceptable for gays: Seeing SATC2 with a bunch of fag hags.
Acceptable: Sneaking a flask full of Jack (or booze of your choice) in to see SATC2.
Unacceptable: Sneaking a thermos full of cosmos in to see SATC2.
Acceptable: Seeing SATC2 alone, in the middle of the afternoon, at a theater somewhere in Queens.
Unacceptable: Seeing SATC2 alone, at anytime, in Manhattan.
Acceptable: Seeing SATC2 in a predominantly black neighborhood.
Unacceptable: Seeing SATC2 in Chelsea.
Of course, you could always go balls-out nuts and do every unacceptable thing here all at once, wearing your "I'm a Carrie!" t-shirt and big ass flower pin to boot, and we'd probably think you were fucking retarded fierce. But who the fuck are we, anyway?
*Ahh, screw it! We ran out of synonyms for awful. Plus, Jezebel already catalogued the bad reviews from pretty much every major media outlet.
