FREE SEX: Too Many Options
(photo by Maurizio Fornino)
Free Sex
Too Many Options
By Peter Pony Clement
Having all the options and then some at one’s fingertips is, just like everything else in life, a blessing and a curse. Here in New York we have the opportunity to go on a first date with a new person every night of the week if it were possible. We are a spoiled group, because in a city with so many options, narrowing down those options to just one partner for any significant length of time can pose itself as a challenge.
Those of you who are looking for more than a one-night stand know what I'm talking about.
Not only do we have full access to a smorgasbord of people of all backgrounds, ethnicities and cultures, the same goes for just about everything else in our lives. Where we eat, drink, workout and live. Our commitment to what we do and who we are is very strong. When we choose an apartment we sign a lease that binds us to the space. When we join a gym we sign a contract and commit to a year or more of physical fitness. Even our cell phones have contracts for obscene lengths of time.
Why is it that we can commit some aspects of our lives to people and things so easily and yet committing to a second date is too frightening to handle? Is this no more than a self-imposed exile from happiness? It’s as if the ongoing hunt for the next best thing is so strong and so tempting that the mere thought of spending more than one evening with the same person seems like a death sentence.
I am constantly hearing people around me say, "Why can't I ever find a good one?" or "Why are all men assholes?" Once you accept the fact that a "good one" doesn't exist—because how good they are doesn't match up with how good they could be—you'll be much better off.
And men are assholes. And so are women! This is part of being human, and being flawed. It does not mean your standards have to drop to disappointing lows just because no one is quite good enough, but rather if no one ever seems quite good enough based on a limited amount of contact, maybe it’s time to examine yourself and see if it isn't you that's telling yourself you're not good enough to deserve happiness.
Maybe being partnered isn't for you. The thrill of hunting down your next prey is too strong and you derive happiness from this. But for those of you who want commitment, you have to go the extra mile. That doesn't include ruling everyone out along the way while keeping an eye pealed for the next possible option around the corner.
And like that gym membership, or lease, or cell provider contract, every relationship will come to an end. Some end with death after a lifetime of commitment, a tall order indeed. Others are ended after a few weeks or a few months. Just remember that it’s not the quantity but the quality. And like your cell provider, you can terminate the relationship at any time. Yes, there will be a fee—maybe an emotional period of darkness, maybe a fight—but in the end, at least you learned more from the experience about what you liked and disliked, making the next relationship a little easier to navigate.
So stop brushing off the options, ruling people out, being a negative Nelly. Get out there and give love a chance. Maybe it’s not for you. But at least you tried!
Wanna send me hate mail? Love mail? Any kind of mail? Hit me up. I welcome your feedback: ponyboypc@gmail.com
