Drag Race Recaps: Totally Leotarded
By Matty Slick-Haxx
Another week, another race. What is it this time, Ru? Woah, woah, woah! Leotards, Susan Powter (gag!) and La Toya Jackson! Holy gay, there is only so much my little faggoty heart can handle—especially in just an hour of television!
At the top of the episode, the queens were quickly sorted into groups of two and one group of three (all three plus sized queens). As a table of duct tape was wheeled out before them, they were told to transform their plain leotards into something completely gag-able using only duct tape. While India and Shangela gave us G.I. Tranny, Carmen and Manila stole the competition with a retro 90s look completely with duct tape ear buds. Even so, the clear highlight of this challenge was seeing Mimi wrap Delta in pink tape making her look like a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. Priceless.Carmen and Manila were dubbed team captains, and the two teams seemed very evenly matched.
Now, this week, the queens were forced to make their own workout videos. Not as easy as it sounds. They had certain equipment that they had to work with: a hula-hoop, shake-weight, aerobics boxes, etc. This needed to happen all while having a group look, and with Susan Powter guest judging, they had to be on their A-game. Oh, Susan Powter, how I fondly remember cutting off my Barbie’s hair so she could sweat and stretch just like you.
Alright, here are the Frowns and the Gags of the week:
Gag-Worthy:
Team Carmen went for a “busted” look. It was perfect: hardcore blush, “garage-door eyes,” neon spandex and crimped hair. Please and thank you!
SUSAN POWTER! SUSAN POWTER! SUSAN POWTER!
Raja was “in” the shoot the entire time. Whether she was in the background or front and center, her facial expressions and charisma made her a focal point.
All the ladies on Team Carmen really got into Shangela’s hula-hoop dance and I found myself actually laughing-out-loud.
Mimi is so out of touch with what she brings to the table, it’s comical. The girl has major delusions of grandeur.
During the final runway, Raja’s legs were like butter, Manila was giving me a Cruela DeVille/Chanel love child, Mimi’s dress I actually liked.
I don’t know what this feeling is, but I’m actually starting to like Shangela. I know, I’m just as shocked as you are.
La Toya actually talked! Although, it was mostly comparing her to her family, she still said Mimi wasted a great opportunity and that induced a jolly chuckle.
During “Untucked” Raja’s bitchy side came out. We all knew it was there and were just waiting for it! She is blunt and cunty with a smile that could melt Mubarak’s heart. Just what I look for in a woman.
Frowny-Face:
Alexis is an ugly boy, boarder-line creeper.
Team Carmen severely lacked energy and creativity during the main challenge. And what was with the rainbow theme? Yawn.
Oh, India! She sounds like a man, looks like a queen from last season, and for Christ’s sake put the tits back in the box! She severely lacks elegance and class.
Raja’s headpiece made her look like either a Hasidic Jewish woman or a cancer patient.
Stacey looked like she was wearing a floral print sheet. I wanted to see paisley.
Yara’s makeup was just nasty.
The product placement that Ru delivers in every episode is getting old.
Even when she was in the bottom two, Mimi was still oblivious to the multiple reasons that got her there. It was funny at first, but now it’s just pathetic. Please be able to read yourself.
India really just shouldn’t talk.
Mimi and India landed themselves in the bottom two this week and were forced to lip-synch “Don’t Leave Me This Way” by Thelma Houston. Now, this was one of my favorite parts of the episode! Mimi was trying so hard to be first that she actually ended up picking India up in a faux-wrestler move and continued to walk up the stairs with India bellowing “Put me down!” in her man-voice. I jumped up and down in my chair.
Ru telling Mimi that, “Drag is not a contact sport” was a dead giveaway as to who was going home. India looked proud of herself for some reason as she walked back to the remaining ladies while Mimi blubbered about how she thinks the judges were completely wrong in eliminating her. Seriously?
Nine queens are left and the ladies are starting to feel the heat. Let’s just hope Stacey and Delta don’t sweat too much.
