Drag Race Recaps: Ru-a-Palooza
By Matty Slick-Haxx
After being moved to tears from last week’s episode (ha), I was just itching to see what was in store for the final six again this week! I was extremely relieved that Yara was not eliminated. I’m not going to lie, she is my personal favorite. Alright, alright, enough of my tranny chasing tendencies! Back to the show!
This week’s mini-challenge was musical chairs with a twist. Whichever queen didn’t grab a seat had to finish the lyrics of the song. It was a quick challenge and Manila was crowned victorious.
Now, the main challenge this week made me slightly nervous. Each queen had to cover RuPaul’s “Superstar” in a studio and perform it in front of a live audience. But wait, there’s more! Each cover has to be a different genre: punk, pop, hip-hop, country, disco, reggae. I know a lot of drag queens around the city, and really I know maybe three that I actually enjoy hearing sing. Frankly, I didn’t want to hear any of these bitches on a microphone, but we can’t always get what we want. Alrighty racers, let’s check into the library and do a little reading!
Gag-Gag-Gag
-Raja chose punk, obviously, but I really liked her explanation. She said she always wanted to be the grungy, punk rocker growing up, but was always too glamorous in the head. Girl, I am right there with you! I am not sticking a safety pin through my nose, I don’t care how anti-everything it may be!
-Alexis got hip-hop and decided to base her look on Lil’ Kim. I like this, I like it a lot. But I must confess, I like Nicki better!
-Manila was a flapper, but with $100.00. I enjoyed it immensely.
-Carmen Electra! I’m pretty sure the Absolute Czar got her wasted before they filmed this. In fact, I am positive a majority of the judges were drunk during this episode. Werq.
-The producer of the covers, a very sexy man named Loucine, said Carmen was boring. Thank you!
-Even though Yara was tone deaf, she never stopped working. She was pushing herself the entire time, while a lot of the queens gave up when they hit rocky parts of the song.
-RuPaul had a mother fucking dress on!
-Alexis’s fake titties baffle me. Her outfit was also compared to a hip-hop version of Hannah Montana. Win.
-Yara’s outfit for her performance was stellar! Sex and glitter. Win!
-Raja’s look was Avril, but with class and rhinestones. I kinda gagged for it.
Le Poo Poo
-Shangela’s over-confidence really rubbed Loucine the wrong way in the studio. She is like an annoying mini-poodle in 100% humidity. Girl, it’s called leave-in conditioner—or a haircut.
-After all the queens had their studio time, I wanted to scream “None of you bitches should ever be behind a microphone. Ever!” Live singing is hit-or-miss and should not be toyed with. For my cerebellum’s sake.
-The Absolute Czar really creeped me out.
-Shangela, once again, looked terrible. She also talked back to the judges, and the point she was trying to make ended up making her look stupid.
-There was a lot of ego that was getting thrown around this week. The queens must be feeling the pressure, and know they really can’t fuck up.
Raja was the winner of this week’s challenge, while Yara was dubbed safe as well. Manila’s flapper dress really saved her this episode, and Alexis skated through by the skin of her teeth. Who does that leave? Carmen and Shangela in the bottom two! This was a lip-synch I’ve been looking forward to. The ladies were granted a gift from heaven when Ru announced this week’s song: “Believe” by Cher. How could anyone fuck that up? Well, Carmen did. She looked like she was on barbiturates and not having a very fun time. Shangela obviously stole the prize when she randomly dropped from standing to completely flat on the floor. I was impressed.
Ru made it quick and easy, but still showed her respect for Carmen as she bid her farewells. One more “Heather” down! I am a touch excited to see the final three! Until next time racers!
