Douches We Love: K Fed
This one's gonna be pretty hard to defend, we know. And honestly, it's more of a "Douche We WOULD HAVE Loved to Fuck." Ladies and gentlemen: Kevin Federline.
Now, obviously we're not writing these odes to douche bags to garner respect from our peers, and this one in particular should make that point patently obvious. K Fed is probably one of the most univerasally despised Hollywood ne'er-do-wells of the past two decades. And now that he's a disgusting fat-ass, well, what's the point, you know?
But, god help us, we remember a time when he was a hot young dancer, strutting around like he had something between his legs with that ghettofied, white trash swagger. Come on! The dude was totally sexy in the same way that that straight guy at the club with the tranny girlfriend and the neck tatoos who sold you ecstasy when you were in high school and then let you blow him in the bathroom when you were both rollin' was sexy. (Although it is damn hard to find hot pics of Federline on the Internet! Go aheah, you try!) Of course, it was never that K Fed had a particularly hot body—there's more to life than muscles, faggots! He looked good for a marginally toned white boy. But that was part of the appeal: his lazy sex appeal, his white trashiness, his douchiness! Plus, K Fed was all runnin' around Hollywood gettin' bitches pregnant. You know he was all like, "Come on, baby, lemme nut inside you. Just this once."
Eww, gross!
Except kinda hot, right?
Anyway, here's to what might have been, K Fed. Too bad you got so fucking fat.
