Douches We Love: Eminem
(Image by David LaChapelle)
Ass loads of talent, mainstream success and critical acclaim do not necessarily make you not a douche—at least in our book. Case in point: Eminem. Sadly, we have a feeling we probably need to remind you just why ol' Slim Shady here is a pretty reprehensible douche bag. There are his famously homophobic lyrics. His idiotic insistence that the word "faggot" has nothing to do with homosexuality in his mind. The insane fact that he feels GLAAD has targeted him because he's white. His utterly juvenile use of violence against women and gays as fodder for his lyrics.
Major. Fucking. Douche.
But, God help us, we'd totally suck Marshall Mathers's cock. Seriously, has a prettier white trash face ever come out of a trailer park? Those lips of his were practiaclly made to be wrapped around a big ol' cock! The guy has the smooth, toned bod of a goddamn Bel Ami model roughed up with some mean lookin' ink. And, yes, we're a sucker for that bullshit, overcompensating, macho hip-hop swagger.
What is it they say about men who are obsessively homophobic? That it's a smokescreen covering their discomfort with their own sexuality? Well, judging from his body of work, we'd say Em's pretty obsessed with us faggots. Baby, the feeling is mutual!
