Douches We Love: Bam Margera
With Jackass 3D currently destroying box offices and young minds—and druving young men to acts that will destroy the skulls that keep those young minds safely inside their young heads—we though it was high time we spotlighted (spotlit?) one of our very favorite Douches We'd Love to Fuck: Bam Margera.
Now, we'll be honest, we don't know what it is about Bam. He's not exacly a hunk. He's kind of a soft-body, which, you know, has it's own appeal. And he seems like he's probably about as mature as our 14 year old inbred cousin. Like, maybe he's even a little bit retarded.
But actually, maybe that's just it. He's like a dumb, horny 14 year old, except that he's, what, like 30? And there's just something about that cocky, balls-driven, young-dumb-and-full-of-cum vibe that gets us all randy-like. And we get the feeling like he's probably really dirty in bed. Like he'll make you stick things up his ass while he's fucking you—which is totally hotter when it's a straight douche who wants you to do it! Or he'd be, like, really disrespectful, and treat you like a groupie.
Plus he's constantly getting naked and those Jackass movies. There's some scene in Jackass 2, we think, where he's about to get his ass branded or something, and one of his friends is all like, "Wow, your ass is completely hairless!" And Bam's all like, "Yeah, it is pretty!"
Yes, it is, Bam. Yes it is!
