Christmas Spirits, Jackie Beat brings her boozy holiday show to NYC
Christmas Spirits
Jackie Beat brings her boozy holiday show to NYC
It just wouldn’t be Christmas in New York without certain holiday staples: the tree in Rockefeller Center, the Rockettes, a good stiff drink on the rocks. Guess which of those seasonal traditions Jackie Beat will be partaking of when she brings her 12th annual Christmas show, Jackie Beat: Alcoholidays, to the Laurie Beechman Theater this week. The award-winning LA-based drag star took time out of her busy holiday schedule to chit-chat with AntiTwink.com about her twisted holiday spirits.
Ok, Jackie, admit it: Christmas in New York is SO much better than Christmas in LA, right?
Of course! There's snow and great shopping and, most importantly, tickets to my annual show are more expensive in NYC and I make more money!
So, Alcoholidays. We’re just talking a little mulled wine, a little brandy in your cocoa, maybe some peppermint schnapps, right?
Yes, but we are also talking about mainlining Jack Daniels right into an arm vein like Mötley Crüe back in the day! And then slugging back some Kitty DuCocktails made with rubbing alcohol when everything else is gone!
Something tells me you’re on Santa’s naughty list most years. Care to speculate whether you’ll be getting a lump of coal this year?
I make my own dreams come true, honey! If I want a treat or a luxury, I buy it for myself! I don't wait around for some crabby old fat man to give it to me! I ain't no twink with some troll of a sugar daddy! I am a modern woman!
Do you ever think about changing your ways to impress ol’ St. Nick?
I shall change for no one! Not my ways, not my attitude, not even my underwear!
On to another magical bearded father stand-in: Aren’t you worried what Jesus thinks of you stealing the spotlight on his big day?
By "magical" I assume you mean "fictional"? I care about Jesus's birthday about as much as I care about the dumb skinny white blonde whores that got fucked by Tiger Woods in the back of his SUV!
So, in your version of A Christmas Carol, what rotten past deeds would the ghost of Christmas Past make you pay for?
Some of my less-than-stellar song parodies might do it. And my many crimes against good taste and fashion offenses.
Please tell me your fancy celebrity friends still send you Christmas cards.
They're all so self-centered that I am lucky to get a fucking Tweet from them!
What’s the most fucked up Christmas card you’ve ever gotten from a celeb?
MacKenzie Phillips asked me to have Christmas dinner with her—dressed as her father! And then she wrote: "P.S. Bring condoms!"
You know, deep down, I bet you’re not really so Grinch-y. I bet you’re really just gingerbread and candy canes on the inside.
Literally! And double cheeseburgers and tacos and Snickers bars! My insides are hideous, but delicious! And seriously, I love the holidays. Hell, I make a shit-load of money!
Let’s say you had a little animated friend who needed to learn the True Meaning of Christmas. What would you tell him?
I would say, "Do you really want to make it in show business, my little cartoon friend? If so, then you must forget all about Christmas and convert to Judiasm!" Seriously, the Jews run Hollywood! Okay, and a few A-List Scientologists… And of course I would remind him that he could get tickets and/or more info on my NYC holiday show at spincyclenyc.com.
Jackie Beat: Alcoholidays runs December 18–20 at The Laurie Beechman Theater in the West Bank Café, 407 W. 42nd St. Check spincyclenyc.com for more info.
