Academy Awards Live Blog!
We're live blogging the Oscars and the pre-shows, the red carpet, the Barbara Walters special...Everything! We're the faggy Oscar party you didn't get invited to.
* * * * * *
12:07am: That. Was. Exhausting.
12:05am: Aaaaaaaand let's wrap this thing up.
12:03am: Oh, good. Tom Hanks! HURT LOCKER!!! Take that James Cameron!
12:00am: YES!!! TEAM BIGELOW!!! Actually I almost kinda wish Lee Daniels had won cause he's some kinda crazy and that would have been a balls-out nuts speech.
11:57pm: Whoa! Trottin' out Streisand!
11:55pm: OK. At least she's funny.
11:53pm: You have got to be kidding me.
11:51pm: If Sahndra Bullock wins this thing I'm gonna be so fucking pissed.
11:45pm: I was wondering when Oprah was gonna show up. And did Forrest Whitaker just say that he directed Hope Floats???
11:39pm: Jeff Bridges. Duh. But lets pretend for a moment that Morgan Freeman won, just so we can celebrate with this: Freeeeeeeee Nelson Mandela!
11:36pm: God I miss Colin Farrell.
11:33pm: Ugh, Clooney's such a douche. Julianne Moore is stunning tho. Also, I'm not a fan of all this ass-kissery!
11:30pm: OMG! Went to the bathroom and missed half of Michelle Pfiffer's Jeff Bridges speech!
11:02pm: Am I the only one who keeps hearing "Up in the Air" and thinking "Up" until someone mentions Clooney?
11:01pm: Wasn't one of those dancers that Cloud guy who used to be Madonna's butt boy main dancer? This guy.
10:51pm: DANCING! This just got less boring!
10:42pm: GOOD dress, Demi! Home run! Also, I was JUST thinking that this show needs a musical number! Que James Taylor.
10:41pm: James Cameron's wife looks like she has a terminal disease. I'm gonna feel real bad if I find out she actually has a terminal disease.
10:36pm: Why were they playing the theme to E.T. when Elizabeth Banks came out onstage?
10:23pm: Kristen Stewart has utterly no stage presence or star power. Why is she in movies???
10:15pm: Tom Ford: Sexiest Man Alive. Period.
10:12pm: Really? Avatar? Are there even real sets in that movie?
10:04pm: MO'NIQUE!!! Here we go, y'all!
9:59pm: Whoa, Lauren Becall was on FIRE at whatever that was the Governer's Award thing.
9:57pm: Do you think Queen Latifa is all pissed she didn't get cast in Precious?
9:53pm: I want to smack Jake Gyllenhaal.
9:50pm: Just now realizing that I haven't seen ANY of the Best Picture noms.
9:47pm: I think awards show fatigue is setting in. Totally jonesin' for Family Guy.
9:43pm: Really, Ben Stiller? Really?
9:37pm: Don't apologize for your accent French animated short film guy!
9:24pm: Can we please talk about how John Hughs's movies were all about spoiled straight white kids? So fucking Reagan era. Seriously, not a single person of color in any of those clips.
9:22pm: No way! Molly fucking Ringwald? Ooooooh, wait. John Hughs tribute.
9:09pm: Yesssss! Best Song: "The Weary Kind." Really really liked that one! Also, Miley and Amanda look like Disney Princesses. Except still white.
9:06pm: I want Miley Cirus to not exist.
9:04pm: Up won. Not surprising.
9:03pm: Ed Asner is so cute!
8:53pm: Do you think for a second that Christopher Plummer thought Penelope Cruz was trying to say his name?
8:48pm: Pssh, who are we kidding Jeff Bridges has this one in the bag. And Clooney is pissed!
8:46pm: Kathryn Bigelow is fucking gorgeous. Fuck James Cameron. TEAM BIGELOW!
8:43pm: Everyone's comin' for The Streep tonight! OMG! Could they not fit Gaby Sidibe in a normal seat???
8:40pm: Ok, i love Alec Baldwin, but why is he hosting this?
8:37pm: Neil Patrick Harris!!! So good. Soooo good!
8:36pm: Good God, what a is this opening?
8:30pm: I just might have nightmares about Gaby Sidibe's arms tonight.
8:26pm: Tina Fey and Steve Carrell: SO much better than anyone else! Miley Cirus, most influential? What is wrong with the world?
8:21pm: "Our community?" Of very rich and priviledged people? Shut up Cameron Diaz!
8:18pm: Ugh, JLo. A fashion icon? Really?
8:08pm: Is Clooney at a concentration camp? Also, we love Jake Gyllenhal trying to make his dumb video game movie sound interesting. And Clooney's mail-order date can't speak English!
8:05pm: Red Carpet!!! Hah! The Oscars gets a tent when it rains! Take that Golden Globes!
8:03pm: Damn! Barbara and Sahndra are comin' for The Streep!
7:59pm: Well that was awkward and pretty much without substance. Standard Barbara.
7:52pm: Who the hell calls Sandra Bullock Sahndra?
7:46: Oh, this is her last special? And her last Oscar interview is Sandra fucking Bullock?
7:43pm: Holy fuck! What's with Barbara's face? Is that too much botox or not enough botox? Also, as much as we're into Alec Baldwin, we really want Ellen to host!
7:39pm: Oh, Ricky Martin! I just don't feel like being gay either.
7:31pm: Is she interviewing anyone this year, or just reminiscing?
7:29pm: OMG! Barbara Walters and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Ms. Walters remembers
